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Authorism has been said to be when an author puts things that happen in their life into their book.  Is this you?  Is it good or bad?

The article that I read suggested that authorism is bad in that it takes away from the plot.  They stated that when an author includes things that happen in their life in a book, it takes away from the plot.  However in my books it adds to the plot.  It is an aside but makes up the day of the heroine.  For example if she goes shopping or what she eats for lunch.  So it is a part of the overall plot and adds some spice.  So I don’t think that it’s a negative thing.  However if what you write takes away from the plot, then that is not good.

However I looked up authorism and it is the state or condition of being author.  Not when an author puts things that happen in their life into their book.  So it was misquoted in the article.  Go figure!

I have found writing very therapeutic in that some of my dilemmas are reflected in the main characters of my books.  It is an integral part of the book since I am trying to raise awareness about mental illness.  But also at the same time it is therapy for me.  In fact I have started journaling now since my new book has a heroine who has a depression and not anxiety.  So I write about my anxiety during the day in my journal.  However I don’t write it every day.  I find writing the book is taking up much of my life now.  I am writing more and painting less.

Cheers!  Never give up!  Always keep fighting…:)

Writing is cathartic!

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Meredith Gibraltar talks of how writing about her sorrow helped.  But which way of writing helped the most?  Cheers!

As you know my cat Echo has passed.  It is a time of great sorrow for me.  I wrote about it in two blogs, a wrote a poem and a wrote a similar scene in the book I am writing.  Of all three the writing of a scene in a book was the most cathartic.  Cathartic means providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions.  Crying is cathartic.  Well yesterday writing a scene in my next book was the most cathartic.  It was as if I was reliving the anguish as I expressed it in a character in my book.  When I write my book I often loose myself in the character.  I was gripped by the sorrow and relived it as I wrote it down and had a sense of relief after I was done.  But the large sense of relief only came after writing my book and only marginally when writing my blogs or my poem.  It was interesting.  I think it was because I wrote what the woman was saying, reliving my own sorrow in her words.

I have said it before.  Write a book.  Especially if you suffer from anxiety or depression.  It can be just 20 pages.  Or even longer.  Or just start writing and see how long the book is.  In mine a woman has a depression and just lost her cat.  Another gripping scene was written this morning where she is overcome with fear because she is being followed (fiction) and because she lost her cat.  It was all too much for her.  Again I was wrapped up in the story and feeling her sorrow.  Again it was cathartic.

Write my friends, write.  And heal as you go one.  Never stop fighting!  🙂

photo credit:  Kaitlyn Baker on Unsplash.

An Ode to Echo.

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I may have written about Echo my cat recently.  Well the situation came to a head yesterday late afternoon.  Echo had had a difficult day.  He wasn’t eating, needed help to use the litter and wasn’t comfortable even in my arms.  He is 17 years old.  Old age finally caught up with him.  So I made the decision that he was suffering too much.  I took him to the vet and now he dances in meadows with my brother and Candy, my daughter’s dog.  He is free of that pain and suffering.

Echo was a character.  Strong willed and affectionate.  He was scared of dogs.  He came into my life four years ago when his previous owners were moving and couldn’t take him with them.  I adopted him so that he wouldn’t have to go to an animal shelter where he would have been put down.  He was an old black cat with eyes that didn’t match!

Echo came into my home with my cats and my dogs.  The dogs spend their time in the living area.  The kitchen, dining room and living room.  There is a dog gate.  Echo spent his time everywhere else until a year ago.  He finally got used to the dogs and spent his last year in the living area with them.  He no longer cuddled with a heating blanket.  He preferred the couch.  He no longer came to my room at night to cuddle.  He preferred being with the dogs.  Funny cat.

Then he got sick.  He was dizzy and could barely balance to walk.  It cleared up for a couple of weeks.  Then it came back worse.  He needed help to get into the litter box.  Finally he wasn’t eating, even wet food.  He was barely drinking.  On his last day he was complaining when I picked him up and not purring anymore.  His eyes seemed to be glazed and he might have been in pain.  I think it was neurological.  So I said good bye to My Echo, My Echo.  May you rest in peace.  I love you and always will.

I’ve written about Echo in my next book Abigail.  His name is Charlie in the book.  Today I will write in what happened to him.  This is my way of healing.  To write about it and to draw him.  I will post the marker drawing that I do of him with this post.  I still have to do it though.

How will this effect me?  Will it depress me?  Yes.  I am sad but I keep telling him that I gave him four good years.  It was the humane thing to do because he was suffering.  Writing about it and drawing him will help me heal.  Remembering the good times will help me heal.  Thinking of him in Heaven in a field of daisies with Candy and my brother Ray will help.  Loving him still will help me heal.

May you rest in peace My Echo, My Echo.  Old Man.  I love you and always will.

So an ode is a poem that expresses the poets feeling about someone.  In this case Echo.

Echo my Old Man.
You will always reside in my heart.
Your last day was one of suffering.
So I took the choice.
That hard choice when you were no more.
The last think you remember was my touch and my voice.
Echo, My Echo.  Do you dance with the stars?
I remember your cuddling.
You incessant demand.
You lay in my arms often as I read.
You lay in my arms before any other.
You had that special place.
As now you have a special place in my heart.
I wept for you.
Echo, My Echo.
I weep for you still.
It was time, Old Man.
It was time.

Drop-in Session with a group of ladies.

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I went to a drop-in session with a group of ladies.  It was interesting and made me think of things that I hadn’t thought of.  Slowly I heal.

I take the time now to talk of my personal demons.  I have never come out and said it out-right but you may have sensed that I have been struggling from my poems.  I haven’t talked to you about this before.  Today I have the courage to do so.  I was sexually abused by my babysitter when I was a child.  Luckily my father figured out that something was up and cut all ties with that family.  But he never knew the extent of it because I never talked to him about it.  On top of that I have blocked out everything about it but my body remembers and for the last ten years I have been struggling with the knowledge that it occurred.  Slowly I heal.

I had the courage to go to a group session yesterday.  The group session turned out to be a drop-in session.  Technically I guess you could still call it a group session.  We watched a video about being generous to people and not dehumanizing them with bad comments.  Then we discussed the sex scandals in the news and how we didn’t know all the details.  In addition a thought provoking question came up.  How do you know when you have healed?  No one had the answer to that.  I don’t know.  I’ll wait to figure that out.

The drop-in session was good for me.  I had wanted to talk more about my situation but that will come with time.  I made friends with two people and gave my phone number to one.  She’ll be calling I’m sure.  So I have connected with individuals who have gone through the same thing as I have which is a positive thing.  There was a sense of camaraderie in the session.  I can make friends there.  I am looking forward to the call from that one person.  A drop-in session or a group session is highly recommended.  It helps you to share your story with people who have gone through the same thing that you have gone through.  I think that this is an important step in the healing process.

I have started a new book called Abigail.  In it the heroine suffers from a depression and is dealing with abuse.  I used my personal life to guide what happens to her in the book.  She too went to a drop-in session and slowly she heals as well.  It is very therapeutic to write about my life in a story.  Perhaps you too could start writing your own book.  Put in things that happen in your life!

Slowly I heal.


Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

My writing space.

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Meredith Gibraltar shares her writing space with you all.  Cheers!

Yes it’s my dining room table.  We no longer eat at the table.  I spend many an hour especially in the mornings typing away at my laptop.  I do not take a pen to paper.  It is all done with the computer.

I am now working on  my second book Abigail, introducing the characters.  It will be a romantic suspense of a woman who is at the wrong place at the wrong time with respect to organized crime.  The book speaks of her struggles when she is followed and also of her depression.  I try to incorporate stories of mental illness into my books to raise awareness among my readers.


Thank you for 2017!

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Meredith Gibraltar wishes to thank everyone for their kind words and their likes.  It gives me courage to keep on writing poems and my book Martha.  Both are therapeutic!

I can’t begin to say how validating it is to post about my writing.  It encourages me to strive to be the best writing that I can be.  It also motivates me to write more.  The writing soothes my tattered soul.  A soul that greatly needs healing.  You help with that by liking and following my blog!  Thank you!

I also paint and draw.  I sell my art on my other website:  Meredith Gibraltar is a pseudonym.  I also write about my healing journey.  I share my daily challenges coping with my anxiety.

So I take this time to reflect on 2017 and thank you all for your kind words and likes.  It is greatly appreciated.  Thank you!

Courage…a poem.

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Meredith Gibraltar writes a poem about Courage for her book Martha.  Cheers!

I stand before you.
Naked in my tears.
With all my courage I stand before you.
Not knowing your opinion.
Not knowing my fate.
Not knowing if you will judge me.
For what I have faced.
For what I have been.
I am mentally ill.
I stand before you.
Naked in my tears.

I write…a poem.

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Meredith Gibraltar writes a poem about herself again.  There was a glitch.  I write about writing.

I write.

I am calm.

The words calm me.

I fear and am calm.

I love and am calm.

The belief in the good and love saved me.

Calmed me.  Soothed me.

The words reflect my fear.

The words reflect my love.

Slowly I heal.


I am writing one book called The Dominant.  Sections of that book are called Stephan, Theo and The Dominant.  I have decided that my first book will be all three of these sections.  Stephan was not long enough to be a book on it’s own.  Theo is the section that I am writing now.  Stephan was a labor of love.  Theo is all work!  I have put the section The Dominant on hold while I write Theo.  Cheers!

Fear … a poem.


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Meredith Gibraltar writes another poem from her first book Stephen.  She belongs to NaPoWriMo and writes a poem every day until the last day of April.  She suffers from anxiety and this is shown in the poem.


I fear.

I tremble.

Will they get me today?

Or will a stay calm and face my fear.

I am guided.

With love and calm I will conquer my fear

and be able to function as always.

I face my fear.

The memories return.

I stay calm and think of you.

You have helped in the past.

I think of you Steve.

I fear less.

Thank you.

If you liked my poem please subscribe to the email list to the right on the main page.  Or like and share on Facebook or Twitter.  I hope you like my words.  I bare my soul.  I am naked before your eyes.


Why I started this blog…

This is the post excerpt.

I started this blog to get people interested in two books that I am writing.  The first one happened ten years ago and is a love story with some action in it.  The second is a suspense story that involves Martha, the person from the first book, and Adele, but is situated ten years later.  These two books are the first books that I have ever written and it’s scary to take the plunge and actually think of maybe publishing them one day.  But to do that I need people who are interested in them.  I think that blogging is the best way to share my passion for writing.  These books are fiction but reflect life experiences.  So I am on the way to publishing now!  Hopefully I can keep you interested in the story line.  Until the next post…