Friend … a poem.

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Meredith Gibraltar writes a poem about a friend.  This person helped her with something she was passionate about and yet they are both so fragile.  Cheers!

I valued your opinion.
So I listened.
Yet I worry for you.
You have shared that sometimes it’s all too much.
Now I worry for you that even I can be too much.
There is always another answer.
Always somewhere else you can live.
Someone else who can be your friend.
I value your opinion.
I value you as a friend.
Be safe.  Be smart.
Don’t give in.
Always keep fighting!

Choices…a poem.

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Meredith Gibraltar writes a poem about choices.  Cheers!

I am molded by choices.
Sometimes they give me anxiety.
Family has helped me make some choices.
Family has encouraged me to do more!
Choices, choices, choices.
Sometimes my environment gives me a choice.
Sometimes my health limits my choices.
Sometimes I feel that I have no choice.
But today all the choices were right.
Today I chose me.  And my health.
Today I chose self-care and myself.
Today I choose me.
Choose to love yourself.
That’s the most important choice of all!


photo credit:  Kaitlyn Baker on Unsplash

My writing journey…

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Meredith Gibraltar shares about her writing journey.  A new book is in the mix!  Cheers!

I just thought that I’d share a little about my new book idea.  It will be a young adult/teen book about a woman who is in college and is saved by a werewolf.  It’s my first paranormal romance!  Go figure!  It will be set in Vancouver.  A mysterious amulet is the key!  The name of this book will maybe be Mia.  Or maybe a catch phrase.  I haven’t decided yet.

I’ve told you before that I write about my life in my books.  So in my second book Abigail, the heroine is writing a new book called Mia about a werewolf.  The idea just popped in my head and so I thought why not!  That will be my next book.  But I hesitate to start it.  I’ll finish Abigail first.

I haven’t started editing Martha yet.  I read somewhere that one should wait three months before editing.  I can understand that since it will give you a fresh look at the book.  It’s hard though.  On top of that I don’t know how much writing I’ll get done!

I was anxious the other day.  Someone wanted a book review of Martha and it hasn’t even been published yet.  This put my whole day out of whack!  I was anxious all day.  My daughter suggested that I just write a summary.  I wrote a quick summary.  But I could add to it.  I may do that.  I’m not sure.  I have to think of what we would write on the back cover of the book when I publish it.  That’s where I’m at with Martha now.

I’m looking to the future.  I entered the first 5000 words of Martha into a contest.  I don’t know if I have any chances of winning.  I’ll know by the end of March whether I won or not.  But I am moving forward and trying out new things.  The biggest worry is finding an editor.  I have one beta reader.  Hopefully she can give me the email addresses of some friends who would also like to be beta readers.  The more the merrier.  Then I seriously have to find an editor.

Never stop fighting…talk about what makes you anxious…just bring it up with a friend or loved one…you don’t have to say it’s your anxiety…they might have an idea about it that you never would have thought about!  Open up…talk to someone…


Photo credit:  Kaitlyn Baker at Unsplash.



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Authorism has been said to be when an author puts things that happen in their life into their book.  Is this you?  Is it good or bad?

The article that I read suggested that authorism is bad in that it takes away from the plot.  They stated that when an author includes things that happen in their life in a book, it takes away from the plot.  However in my books it adds to the plot.  It is an aside but makes up the day of the heroine.  For example if she goes shopping or what she eats for lunch.  So it is a part of the overall plot and adds some spice.  So I don’t think that it’s a negative thing.  However if what you write takes away from the plot, then that is not good.

However I looked up authorism and it is the state or condition of being author.  Not when an author puts things that happen in their life into their book.  So it was misquoted in the article.  Go figure!

I have found writing very therapeutic in that some of my dilemmas are reflected in the main characters of my books.  It is an integral part of the book since I am trying to raise awareness about mental illness.  But also at the same time it is therapy for me.  In fact I have started journaling now since my new book has a heroine who has a depression and not anxiety.  So I write about my anxiety during the day in my journal.  However I don’t write it every day.  I find writing the book is taking up much of my life now.  I am writing more and painting less.

Cheers!  Never give up!  Always keep fighting…:)

Love…a poem

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Meredith Gibraltar writes a poem about love.  Remember those who are alone on Valentine’s Day.  Cheers!

Love of a mother or father.
Love of a friend.
Love of a lover, wanted so much.
Do I dare to invite that lust?
Do I dare to invite that need?
I stand naked before you.
I watch for that sword,
that I know will cut.
I watch for that tongue,
that can wound.
I watch…
Will I let you near?
Will I let you in?
To say no would mean
forever alone.
Wanting, needing, craving but safe!
Forever alone is too bleak.
With courage I open my eyes and search.
I look in the face of a man.
Courageous and strong.
Could it be you?  My next love?
Could it be you?

Photo credit:  John Jennings on Unsplash

Writing is cathartic!

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Meredith Gibraltar talks of how writing about her sorrow helped.  But which way of writing helped the most?  Cheers!

As you know my cat Echo has passed.  It is a time of great sorrow for me.  I wrote about it in two blogs, a wrote a poem and a wrote a similar scene in the book I am writing.  Of all three the writing of a scene in a book was the most cathartic.  Cathartic means providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions.  Crying is cathartic.  Well yesterday writing a scene in my next book was the most cathartic.  It was as if I was reliving the anguish as I expressed it in a character in my book.  When I write my book I often loose myself in the character.  I was gripped by the sorrow and relived it as I wrote it down and had a sense of relief after I was done.  But the large sense of relief only came after writing my book and only marginally when writing my blogs or my poem.  It was interesting.  I think it was because I wrote what the woman was saying, reliving my own sorrow in her words.

I have said it before.  Write a book.  Especially if you suffer from anxiety or depression.  It can be just 20 pages.  Or even longer.  Or just start writing and see how long the book is.  In mine a woman has a depression and just lost her cat.  Another gripping scene was written this morning where she is overcome with fear because she is being followed (fiction) and because she lost her cat.  It was all too much for her.  Again I was wrapped up in the story and feeling her sorrow.  Again it was cathartic.

Write my friends, write.  And heal as you go one.  Never stop fighting!  🙂

photo credit:  Kaitlyn Baker on Unsplash.

I’m not in the room!

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Stephen King is quoted as saying that he isn’t in the room when he’s writing.  I haven’t got the exact quote.  But it’s something like that.  That’s where I’m at with my writing.  Cheers!

I am writing my second book Abigail.  In it the heroine has a depression.  I write to raise awareness about mental illness.  As I write, I realize that I have a depression as well as suffering from anxiety.  I didn’t know this until this month when I started writing my second book.  As I write, I become the person I am writing about.  As I write, I see my depression for what it truly is.

I find it hard to do the basic things in life like taking care of myself and especially, cleaning.  Cleaning depresses me so much that I have had help for over ten years.  But now as I am aware of this, I am slowly taking back my own life and cleaning.  I am also taking better care of myself.  One of the first signs of a depression is lack of self-care.  If this is happening to you then know that you are probably suffering from a depression and seek help.  At first your family doctor can help.  If it’s serious he or she will tell you to seek professional help.  But the family doctor is the first step.  Open up.  Talk about your depression.  You are important to the people around you who love you and to humanity itself.  Everyone has their special something to offer their loved ones but also people around them.  Be it friends or even strangers.  Who knows?  Your kind actions may help someone out of their own depression without you knowing it!  You matter!  Take care of yourself!


In addition, writing helps with my mental illness.  Something about writing down what happens in my day helps me.  Expressing it even just in the written word helps me.  Try to write it down.  You could start a story.  Where the hero is you.  Or you could just keep a journal.  Write down the little things in your day as well as the major events.  Write my friend write!  And slowly you will heal.

photo credit:  Jan Kahanek with Unsplash

Drop-in Session with a group of ladies.

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I went to a drop-in session with a group of ladies.  It was interesting and made me think of things that I hadn’t thought of.  Slowly I heal.

I take the time now to talk of my personal demons.  I have never come out and said it out-right but you may have sensed that I have been struggling from my poems.  I haven’t talked to you about this before.  Today I have the courage to do so.  I was sexually abused by my babysitter when I was a child.  Luckily my father figured out that something was up and cut all ties with that family.  But he never knew the extent of it because I never talked to him about it.  On top of that I have blocked out everything about it but my body remembers and for the last ten years I have been struggling with the knowledge that it occurred.  Slowly I heal.

I had the courage to go to a group session yesterday.  The group session turned out to be a drop-in session.  Technically I guess you could still call it a group session.  We watched a video about being generous to people and not dehumanizing them with bad comments.  Then we discussed the sex scandals in the news and how we didn’t know all the details.  In addition a thought provoking question came up.  How do you know when you have healed?  No one had the answer to that.  I don’t know.  I’ll wait to figure that out.

The drop-in session was good for me.  I had wanted to talk more about my situation but that will come with time.  I made friends with two people and gave my phone number to one.  She’ll be calling I’m sure.  So I have connected with individuals who have gone through the same thing as I have which is a positive thing.  There was a sense of camaraderie in the session.  I can make friends there.  I am looking forward to the call from that one person.  A drop-in session or a group session is highly recommended.  It helps you to share your story with people who have gone through the same thing that you have gone through.  I think that this is an important step in the healing process.

I have started a new book called Abigail.  In it the heroine suffers from a depression and is dealing with abuse.  I used my personal life to guide what happens to her in the book.  She too went to a drop-in session and slowly she heals as well.  It is very therapeutic to write about my life in a story.  Perhaps you too could start writing your own book.  Put in things that happen in your life!

Slowly I heal.


Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

My writing space.

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Meredith Gibraltar shares her writing space with you all.  Cheers!

Yes it’s my dining room table.  We no longer eat at the table.  I spend many an hour especially in the mornings typing away at my laptop.  I do not take a pen to paper.  It is all done with the computer.

I am now working on  my second book Abigail, introducing the characters.  It will be a romantic suspense of a woman who is at the wrong place at the wrong time with respect to organized crime.  The book speaks of her struggles when she is followed and also of her depression.  I try to incorporate stories of mental illness into my books to raise awareness among my readers.


We stand together…a poem.

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Meredith Gibraltar writes the last poem for her first book Martha.  Cheers!

We stand together.
I still have the demons of my past.
But with you I am stronger.
I don’t lose sight of my goal.
To stand alone against my demons!
You give me strength.
But the battle is still mine.
My inner demons want to shine.
But I stand strong.
My battle is never ending.
But I stand strong.
Your touch gives me added strength.
A peace amidst the storm.
Your touch gives me added strength.
I am alone no more.